From the age a person learns language, questions are quick to arise. Questions about life, purpose, nature, God, bodily functions. And no matter how old or intelligent you are, there will always remain things that baffle the mind.
Although I love just about every sport with a passion, okay, a borderline obsession, you are SO right, I’m not a fan of NASCAR. Not in any way. My extended family is huge into it, HUGE, crazy red necks that they are. They go down to races every year, watch it whenever it’s on, stock up on paraphernalia and Wheaties, and have NASCAR keggers with heaps of buffalo wings and tortilla chips. The way they carry on, you’d think NASCAR drivers were Masters of the Universe or something.
I’d watch races if my husband were into it, but incidentally, I follow more sports than he does, so I thank the Lord, I don’t have to go there.
I understand the burn of a diehard fan. I’m totally diehard for more sports than I care to mention, so I can identify with the craving to see events. But NASCAR on the radio? Really? NASCAR…on the radio. As if it’s not thrilling enough on TV, now you get the Audio Experience. I don’t get it. I mean I listen to contact sports on the radio, though football is a little hard for me to follow with so much going on, but I can’t imagine a race, be it runners, horses, kayaks or cars. On the radio. Can’t you find out the standings on the evening news? It’s not like a sport where a bad play or call matters. It’s a race. A race. On the radio.
I also don’t get why spandex and jelly shoes were ever popular in the 80’s, considered wicked stylish even, and why they’re back with a vengeance, invading shopping malls everywhere. That’s about the worst synthetic garb you can find. Put them together, and fashion police will be hunting you down, to ticket you for such a faux pas.
Here are other burning questions:
Why does every IHOP look like a Dutch house? If it’s International, shouldn’t there be some variety? Why do the Dutch get all the glory for superb pancakes and waffles?
Why is Denny’s still in existence when there’s IHOP? Do people really think it’s normal to wait hours for cold eggs and scorched coffee to arrive? Maybe these are the people offended by Dutch inference.
Why are the New Kids on the Block on a comeback tour? Sometimes you have to just let the dream die. Bye, Bye, Bye. Oops. Sorry. Wrong band. Really. Give it up.
Why do the rich and famous give their babies hideously strange names? As if they don’t have enough attention already.
Why did Coca Cola think it was a good idea to change the formula for Coke in the first place? Wasn’t it #1 in taste tests?
Why on 9-11 was the U. S. military unable to protect the Pentagon, the most guarded air space in the world, after two planes had already struck the World Trade Centers and it was clear we were under attack?
Why did David Lee Roth ever think he could make it as a soloist?
Why did Journey ever think they could make it without Steve Perry?
Why is Sid from R&D at Comcast stalling on the remote button issue? A pager on the cable box to easily find that lost sucker would help all mankind. Don’t ya think? It’s a great idea. Get it done, Sid. Be a hero!
Why do women think Johnny Depp is hot? Or Hugh Grant? Ick. Gabe Kapler now. There’s some eye candy.
Why did the Little House writers hate Mary so? Poor thing. It’s difficult to find a character who’s suffered more affliction. My heart still breaks for her.
Why are you still reading some freak’s post?
Why did Starbucks get rid of their coconut mocha frapp? Even the brownie one is gone. It’s a specialty drink nightmare. I have to go all the way to Gloria Jean’s now to get tongue-tickling drinks like English Toffee or Turtle.
Why is my dad in yet another network marketing company?
Why is Vanilla Coke so hard to find? Oh right. Those CC pushers get you hooked so you’ll have to buy cans.
Why is America using the same playbook for the Afghan war that was used in Vietnam? Everyone knows how that turned out.
Why are pomegranate salesmen not getting MEGA bonuses? They’re obviously working overtime. That stuff’s in everything now.
Why is there no Red Lobster within 100 miles of me? I hate it. Those buttery herb rolls rock the house. They’re the best ever.
Why is Taylor Swift winning so many awards? She’s okay in her talking-not-really-singing way, but the BEST? The BEST?
Why am I not a published author yet? Or better yet, Sybil? All her books are great reads.
Why is it taking me so long to finish one stinkin’ book?
Why are there no After School Specials? So many topics could be dealt with today and kids are under more pressure than ever.
Why is Sinbad not being used in more movies? He’s soooo funny. Check out Houseguest if you haven’t.
Why does my husband continue to root for his losing football team?
And I don’t get perception, how you can hang a painting by a three-year-old in a museum and have passersby gush in awe when they assume it’s by an esteemed artist. Art is so subjective, but if we can’t tell the difference between preschool art and an impressionistic masterpiece, what does that say of skill or beauty? Doesn’t that dump them into a realm where excellence and technique don’t matter?
Writing is also a subjective art form because readers have different tastes. Some people only consider literary fiction to be worthy enough for their delicate eyes, and perhaps classic literature, but definitely NOT that icky, annoying genre fiction, that actually moves somewhere rather than showing a slice of life or arc in time.
I cannot imagine telling a story without plot. I need to have a point. Even literary fiction or allegory should have some kind of point or destination, ultimate resolution, even if it’s simply an epiphany. The most resonating works for me as a reader are those with good plots AND strong characters, which don’t sacrifice one over the other.
Why is there a belief and air that literary fiction is more sophisticated and excellent than genre or general fiction? A good story is a good story. Sacrificing plot for literary merit and recognition is just writing pretty words and building great characters for a minimalistic storyline. The purity of the story can get buried under all the glitz and purple prose. Yes, you can certainly strive to create great literature, but also take time to cut loose.
Whether you’re a dancer, figure skater, painter or writer, you need to break free sometimes and find a style all your own beyond technique, to touch base with the thrill of the art.
That’s why three-year-olds can produce masterpieces. Such wall-worthy art is born out of pure joy and carefree gusto, and really, it is no less beautiful or sophisticated. Just ask the gushers at the museum or the moms who hang them on the fridge.